Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safety deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.

The Head Gangster says "Okay, well, at least we can eat it."

So they eat the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second Safety deposit box and there sits another pudding. They decide to devour it too.

They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes. Disappointed the head gangster said "Well, at least they left something for us to eat".

The next day, while listening to the news they hear: "Yesterday the largest sperm bank in the USA was robbed by an unknown group of people".

This actually happened at Harvard University in October of last year. I thought you would find it educational.

In a biology class, the Prof. was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is as much glucose in male semen as ther is in sugar?

That's correct", responded the Prof., going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"

After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class... and never returned. However, as she was going out the door, the Prof's reply was classic... Totally straight-faced he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat."

A man is sitting next to a woman on a jet which is getting ready to take off.
Suddenly, the man sneezes. He unzips his pants and wipes the end of his penis off with his handkerchief. He zips up, and continues reading his magazine.

The woman cannot believe what she just saw. Then he sneezes again, unzips, pulls out his penis and wipes it off with a handkerchief.

The woman says, "Excuse me sir, but that is disgusting and rude, and if you do it again, I am going to call the flight attendant and have you removed from this plane.

He says, "I am so sorry that I have offended you. I have this very rare, embarrassing physical handicap that causes me to orgasm everytime I sneeze."

The woman, disarmed by the man's honesty, and somewhat embarrassed by her own callousness, says, with sympathy, "Oh you poor man, what are you taking for it?"

"Pepper," he answers.